I love my kids SO MUCH. I want to be the best mom I can be to them. I want to encourage them, have fun with them, help them learn to be good christians, good friends and family members, teach them good habits...there is sooooo much that I want for them.
What is hard is that I am human. Unfortunately, I fail sometimes. I can be tired, cranky, sick, overwhelmed, and stressed, like anyone else. Sometimes I lack knowledge. At times, under these conditions, I fall short of my expectations for myself as a mom.
And I feel like I dissappoint my kids at times because of that. I don't like that.
Logically, I know that I am a good mom. I have never worked harder in my life. I know that I am doing many things well. But, there are many times where I lie awake at night thinking about situations with the kids that I could have handled differently. I guess in some ways that is a good thing because processing your mistakes helps you learn from them. In other ways, I wish that I could just let them go, and fall back to sleep.
As a mom, no matter how hard I work, I can't do all that I want to do for my children. That's hard for me to accept. I am often dissappointed that I can't do more.
When I feel this way, I try to build myself up. I try to tell myself that I am doing many good things for the children that I love more that I ever thought was possible. I do try to focus on all of the positives so that I can be encouraged. (My blog is a wonderful medium for that.) I remind myself that I am doing as much as I can, and hopefully over time I will be able to do more, become more efficient, grow wiser in my parenting. I fish for compliments from my husband. :) I try to remind myself to be patient, that certain seasons in parenting or life in general are more challenging than others.
I pray.
I love my children, and with God's help I'll be the best mom possible to them.
5 comments:
I don't know you personally, but from what I can read and see in the happy faces of your children, you are an EXCELLENT MOM!!! :D
Sarah- you ARE a wonderful mother...that you feel it so keenly when you fall short in some manner is just more unnecessary proof of that. Your children all love you so much, and even if they are disappointed in you from time to time, the same is true for you about them. As you said yourself- we are all only human- and as such soooo imperfect. The important thing to keep in mind is that you are always teaching them how to be good human beings, and when you fail, you model for them how they should behave when they fail. They learn from you how to recognize in themselves, intraspectively, when they have done something wrong (and that they should even be looking for this), or have not treated a loved one as they should, or have betrayed someone's trust or friendship in some way... and they learn from how you handle each personal failing- how to apologize with grace and humility, how to mend a relationship that has been hurt, and how to forgive, other people, but especially themselves. So take heart that even in your shortcomings, you still showing four little ones who love you so much how to grow up to be wonderful human beings. (And reminding other people around you as well;)
Thank you so much for your kind words...they mean so much to me!
Sarah, like Tanya said; your comments are unnecessary proof of you being a great mom. I think thoughts like those are what drives you too be so cool. When i look at all the things your family does on this blog, I am amazed at all you get done. As they say; parenting is the hardest job you'll ever have. I personally think that "life costs, and the sooner you pay the better." and in your case, investing all this time and energy in your family will be way cheaper than having unrully kids in trouble w/ the law because no one cared. You are an amazing mom. As "Kitty" said; look at those happy faces :-) One final comment; keep up the good work! love you! Jim (& Marci)
Thank you, Jim...your encouragement brought tears to my eyes too! Love to you and Marci!
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